From the Darkness to Light

Home / News and Updates / From the Darkness to Light

From the Darkness to Light

I am a Leonard Cohen fan.  I love the poetry and the way he words things and the deep spirituality of his work.  He has a new album out that I have been listening to.  You want it Darker.  The first two verses really spoke to me.

If you are the dealer
I’m out of the game
If you are the healer
I’m broken and lame
If thine is the glory
then mine must be the shame/ You want it darker /We kill the flame

Magnified and sanctified

Be they Holy Name \ Vilified and crucified\ In the human frame \ A million candles burning

For the help that never came\ You want it darker\ We kill the flame

Hineni (Here I am)

I in my soul understand his back and forth in this piece.  I want to be in the light but I love the darkness, I want to hide the evil that is in me.  I want to hide the jealousy, the lust and the fact that it is all about me.

The older I get the more I see (magnified) how selfish I really am and how the greatest sin in my life is the worship of myself.  I want to be in control and I want the world to turn out just the way I dream it to turn out.  I get mad at God every time it does not turn out the way I want it too.  I question his goodness and his love.

My false sense of goodness is magnified daily, self is crucified as I am exposed for the fraud that I am.  I truly I want it darker and it is me who kills the flame.

The patriarchs response to God was here I am.  We like to idealize this response.  We think that they did not struggle like we do.  They were not selfish, or rude, or angry but they were.

When Abraham said here I am he was saying God I am here with all my worship of self, imperfect, flawed in so many ways that I can’t count them and I rather not see who I really am because he like it darker.  I am here will you accept me just as I am.

God’s response is absolutely.

I am ready to give the darkness of my life to God.  I have not run the universe very well.  In fact I am a failure at it.  It is time to let God have this selfish human person, all the demons I struggle with God you can have them if you want them.

He wants you because he is love.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1John 4:8

No matter how dark you get he still wants you.

Leave a Comment